


I'm drowning in the flowers of my soul

by DalekLetoEndeavour



Series: A toast to Keats! to Byron! and the Lewis fandom [3]
Category: Endeavour (TV), Inspector Morse (TV)
Genre: Asexual Awareness Week, Asexual Relationship, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, One-Sided Relationship, POV Second Person, Temporarily Unrequited Love, but has lowkey an happy ending, i have no idea how to tag this, its a pure ace story lol, more like, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-24 22:40:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22465789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DalekLetoEndeavour/pseuds/DalekLetoEndeavour
Summary: so this story happend last night a 5 am due to me being hyped and unable to sleep after watching the trailer for Season 7 of EndeavourBasically  the reader experiance of the Hanahaki DiseaseJust that the reader is on the aro/ace spectrum and the flower petals are book pages.
Relationships: Endeavour Morse/Reader, background mentioned Lewis/Hathaway
Series: A toast to Keats! to Byron! and the Lewis fandom [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1350097
Kudos: 7





	I'm drowning in the flowers of my soul

**Author's Note:**

> First of all
> 
> Thank you for considering to read this work  
> I have never ever written anything x Reader before and do not plan to do it in the future unless requested  
> So it might be a bit wobbely uff
> 
> Also first time I felt comfortable enough to share another Endeavour related story  
> I am wayyyyyy to shy to share the other stuff IDK why
> 
> also an entirerly new perspective to the Hanahaki Disease ace power uwu  
> Comments are welcome uwu
> 
> The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from unrequited love, where the patient’s throat will fill up with flower, they will then proceed to throw, and cough up the petals, (sometimes even the flowers). One of the only ways for the disease to ‘disappear’ is if, the said person returns the feeling The infection can also be removed through surgery, though the feelings disappear along with the petals. If they choose nether options, or the feeling is not returned in time, then the patient’s lungs will fill up with flowers, and will eventually suffocate.  
> There is no specific flower for the disease, but it’ll either be the crushes favourite type of flower, or their favourite colour. We can only hope for the patients, and pray that the crushes favourite flower isn’t a type of rose.
> 
> (The length of the disease varies with each person. But on an average, it will last up to 2 or 3 mouths, but sometime it’ll only last, a couple weeks).  
> In this story it is actually 5 years from symptoms to outbreak

They say it's hereditary  
They say there's only one cure  
They say your end will be swift you won't even realize it's over  
  
You didn't expect it to break out at all  
There was never a soul in the known universe you would have wanted to be yours  
You were able to feel but couldn't get behind the concept of love  
The fear of loss perhaps which kept you  
So it caughed you by surprise when you first visited Oxford.  
When you first coughed up the first indicator of your murderer.  
A flower petal made out of a book page with smeared ink had been it. One word _Woodstock_ had been printed on it.  
The city had left you breathless.  
The architecture  
The people  
The fascination with crime  
There in Blackwaters just on the same side as the white horse it had been where you first laid hands on a book with golden letters and golden spine.  
Ran your fingers playfully across the cover of last bus to Woodstock without knowing.  
Without knowing who waited behind those lines.  
  
You left Oxford a bit heartbroken without ever to having experienced what that word even meant  
There was no explanation for it  
But it felt like you've left something important behind.  
Days become weeks  
Weeks become months  
The illness doesn't flare up until 2 years after your first trip to Oxford  
You had just began your night shift when the advertisement for the newest season of Endeavour had swept you off your feet.  
A show you had never heard of before.  
Suddenly become very aware of your own heart beat you clutch your chest before coughing up yet another paper flower petal. It read Thank Lewis  
You curl up in your blanket shivering  
You won't tell your mother or your friends  
What would they know anyways?  
  
You dry the paper flower petal carefully and place it to the other one hidden in an note book full of ideas.  
You write down _Endeavour_ next to it.  
  
Another year passes quickly  
When autumn comes  
Spooky season arises  
You finally crack the code  
It creeps upon you slowly  
How slowly  
That the reason why you pass away is all but smoke and mirrors  
  
You can't narrow down the exact Sunday in October anymore when you had your first actual encounter with the detective auburn haired and blue  
The only thing for certain was that it had been the first episode of the 4th season  
But ever since then the petals increased.  
More words  
 _Remorseful_ …. _Oxford_ …. _drink up Lewis_  
Your mother finally notices  
She's displeased.  
Almost angry like she had known for a long time who your killer would be  
You ask her about Morse and she shakes her head.  
You ask her about Lewis and she sends you without supper to bed

  
It's starting to get cold when you and your best friend begin to watch it together  
When everyone is celebrating you lose your voice to a larger piece of petal  
 _people just call me Morse_

  
And this is when you plan to revisit Oxford in June  
You do it together with your best friend who in the end lets you down  
To scared to lose you to the flowers she adds  
You weep and weep and your tears have turned into ink.  
The only thing giving you strength are Lewis and Hathaway whom you have accepted as your Oxford dad's  
And AO3 is your safe space when the world is unkind

  
Time flies

  
How soon it was June  
You step out of the train and are able to breathe again.  
You know where to go  
Of course you do  
Morse’s Oxford is a part of you  
You go to Blackwells and grab that very book you have touched all those years ago  
before running across the street  
to the Bodleian  
Breathless you clutch your throat when you noticed you ran into an set.  
Heavy coughing you collapse bringing up one perfect paper flower.  
 _Endeavour_ was written all over on the petals  
Blood runs from the corner of your mouth as you smile when you noticed who came to your aid.

"Oh no I'm so sorry I can't save you my dear."

You wanted to ad that it's alright

  
But the world suddenly feels so light  
And there's a bright light greeting you with the flower duet from Lakmé.  
Then there are those sad baby blues greeting you again  
But they aren't exactly the same this time they are not sad


End file.
